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bDAbysitTING
What is maturity? Is it the ability to make responsible decisions? is it the capability of controlling certain impulses? Is it a developed awareness of the existence of others aside from ourselves? Is it all of the above?
It is often said that women mature faster than men. That reasoning is commonly used to justuiy couples where the man is so much older than the woman that the relationship resembles some sort of ancient cocubine arrangement.
We often excuse men’s actions because we say they are just ‘immature’, much like we excuse children’s actions because they dont know any better.
but really, after a certain age, shouldn’t men’s actions be judged on some sort of objective scale where certain behavior cannot just be shrugged off as ‘immaturity’, but rather, should be seen for what it is – character.
we lump actions of the men we love/want to love/date/want to date/try to date/ (and every other arrangement on that scale) into the ‘immaturity’ category when we know that what they’ve done or said is not ok. Because truth be told, when something “not ok” is done, its done for one of two reasons, neither of which we want to face, so just shove the action off into the “immaturity” drawer. Those two reasons are 1) the person is the kind of person, personality and character-wise, that does this kind of thing, or 2) the person doesnt give enough of a crap about us to bother acting differently.
Doing things “ok” rather than “not ok” requires caring, kindness, compassion, sacrifice, and awareness of the needs of the other person. so if a man does something “not ok”, again, its for one of the reasons stated above. That he just is a piece of sh*t, or that he doesnt care enough about the relationship (at whatever stage it is in), so put forth the effort to not act like a piece of sh*t. its really quite simple, but neither is a very attractive option,so off to the immaturity drawer we go.
Ladies, after a certain age, an immaturity that results in a man acting chronically selfishly and self-absorbedly will probably not magically dissolve. In fact, selfishness, when cultivated, only grows and becomes more pronounced with age. So open the immaturity drawer, go through it, see the crap thats gone in there for what it is, and toss it all, along with him, out and away.
-yev
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It’s an interesting take on ‘maturity.’ I’ve recently been trying to sort out ‘maturity’ on my own, trying to understand what it is. The problem that I see, is that most people define ‘maturity’ as an opposite of ‘immaturity,’ so that, instead of it being a specific action on its own, it’s just not behaving a certain way. This says a lot, as though we naturally assume the immature actions first, or area always wary of them. See what you think about my take on it.
Comment by ModernSophist September 28, 2009 @ 5:07 AM