I was interviewed for an article on dating – I considered sending them a link to this but then figured the guys wouldnt appreciate it and honestly, I like keeping my identity under wraps.  In fact the one man that did find out I was writing this bugged at a mention of himself…

Also, I accidently let it slip that I have a bad habit of booking two or three dates for the same day and average 3-5 a week.

After I meekly ask if that could be off the record… Too late but she assured me it wouldnt be printed for at least a month, so the day of 3 would not be recognizable to them. 

I promise, there will be more juicy details to come…  and follow up from recent events…

xVix

…been busy working like a bee in this economy…

…and dating almost as much…okay maybe more…

but another great quote from a man:

“Well I am a man. And being a man involves scary movies, football, beer, porn, a love of boobs, ability to grill a steak.”  -anonymous (and let’s hope he doesn’t find this!)

xVix

So, I’ve been busy busy busy, working being social ect.

I was just talking to an old flame/friend/someone you love to hate and hate to love… You know, we all have one of those. 

Well, we’ll call him “boyEBE” and we will quote him.  

He messages me in the middle of an intensly busy work day… I respond 30 min later, wondering as to why we are speaking again…

…He’s asked how life is, how his mother is (yes, I’ve seen her more recently than he has) and rambled on about something phD related.  Then I tell him about work and a great business accomplishment.  No wow awesome, just: 

boyEBE: how are things socially?

Huh?  I just feel like its such an akward phrasing, consulting my girls (yes I remember the women give bad advice entry from months ago)

GirlieN:  do you think he meant dating wise?
Vix:  i donno….you think?
GirlieN:  i mean i doubt he cares if you are like hanging out w your friends

okay… still just thought I’d share.. a k w a r d….but then again boys who are just that, old enough to be men but still acting like boys often are.

xVix

asks the Cayanne…via bbm

“miss me” he says…

I respond… “How can I? We haven’t met… but I do enjoy the attention”

xVix

bDAbysitTING
 
What is maturity? Is it the ability to make responsible decisions? is it the capability of controlling certain impulses? Is it a developed awareness of the existence of others aside from ourselves? Is it all of the above?
 
It is often said that women mature faster than men. That reasoning is commonly used to justuiy couples where the man is so much older than the woman that the relationship resembles some sort of ancient cocubine arrangement.
 
We often excuse men’s actions because we say they are just ‘immature’, much like we excuse children’s actions because  they dont know any better.
 
but really, after a certain age, shouldn’t men’s actions be judged on some sort of objective scale where certain behavior cannot just be shrugged off as ‘immaturity’, but rather, should be seen for what it is – character.
 
we lump actions of the men we love/want to love/date/want to date/try to date/ (and every other arrangement on that scale) into the ‘immaturity’ category when we know that what they’ve done or said is not ok. Because truth be told, when something “not ok” is done, its done for one of two reasons, neither of which we want to face, so just shove the action off into the “immaturity” drawer. Those two reasons are 1) the person is the kind of person, personality and character-wise, that does this kind of thing, or 2) the person doesnt give enough of a crap about us to bother acting differently.
 
Doing things “ok” rather than “not ok”  requires caring, kindness, compassion, sacrifice, and awareness of the needs of the other person. so if a man does something “not ok”, again, its for one of the reasons stated above. That he just is a piece of sh*t, or that he doesnt care enough about the relationship (at whatever stage it is in), so put forth the effort to not act like a piece of sh*t. its really quite simple, but neither is a very attractive option,so off to the immaturity drawer we go.
 
Ladies, after a certain age, an immaturity that results in a man acting chronically selfishly and self-absorbedly will probably not magically dissolve. In fact, selfishness, when cultivated, only grows and becomes more pronounced with age. So open the immaturity drawer, go through it, see the crap thats gone in there for what it is, and toss it all, along with him, out and away.

-yev

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.
Oscar Wilde

Which is why we don’t notice them – compliments I mean, and in all honesty, sometimes we fail to notice the men too -  we miss the flattery or even sometimes when a man is flirting; until they realize they have our attention, and our ears are open to these things we hear them less and less.

No matter how long the chase takes, a week, a month, half a year? The second we’re paying attention a dynamic changes.

I wonder if this is human nature, if they notice or a game back in its own.  Turning the tables?  Something their fathers teach them?

Just a few thoughts on this friday morning before the partying starts…and it’s time to go looking for trouble…

xVix

I am dating a child. And i am not a pedophile. At least in the physical, technical, legal sense. But I am nevertheless dating a child. a 27 year old child. With whom i often have conversations about concepts so elemental i feel like im morphing into some sort of teacher or perhaps even nanny.
 
This child im dating will only do what he wants, when he wants, and how he wants. And when all three of the aforementioned are to his satisfaction, he is fun and playful and a great time to be around. But when there is the slightest deviation from his whims, the child begins to pout and when he doesnt get his way, he no longer wants to play.
 
A concept most alien to this child of mine, we’ll call him lolito, is doing something he doesnt want to do for the sake of me. If there is something on the menu which came from the initiative of me and was not formerly on his wishlist, lolito is a no-go. In fact, there seems to be some sort of mechanical malfunction in lolito’s brain that causes him to be unable to process the concept of doing something suggested by someone else, that someone else being me.
 
So really, lolito and i are not dating. lolito is spinning on his own axis, in his own little universe, and im welcome to come in and play, but on that axis lolito will stay. Any attempt by me to re-divert the trajectory, will only result in me getting smacked in the face.
 
So is lolito this way because its just who he is, or is it because he doesn’t care anough about me to bother re-adjusting? An intriguing question but wholly irrelevant, as the end result is 100% the same regardless of the answer.

yev

Every once in a while a man who’s in a relationship gets nervous, he wants to see if he has a chance with women he’s wanted - and for whatever reason – he’s never had has left the window open.

A few weeks ago I get a text from the unnamed ‘Cayanne’ of an earlier entry letting me know he was having trouble making it work with his girlfriend but he was off to play squash and would talk to me later.

Okay. Odd. Maybe a bad day.

Then I wake up to a bbm saying “guess who’s gonna be single soon” my response “any one exciting?”

That got him going about how he’s really trying to make it work.  Men want to know there is another option out there, especially when the girl they pick isn’t the one they always envisioned, type, looks, background.  But what they don’t realize is a girl will remember how they reached out when they were coupled up: flattered? sometimes.  loving attention? probably.  do we want to think if we are with them they’d do the same? No way in hell.

Today, he proceeds to tell me how I shouldn’t be so hard on him… wait?! What?!

Just sayin…

xVix

…and that means less clothing.

more sun.

and less thinking, more doing.

being active in this heat is invigorating which means I’ve been out having way too much fun meeting people every which way with too little time to post so I’m bringing in a friend, Yev, to share some of her stories with you all…

xVix

.. do they really think we don’t see when they are hitting on hot women on two different sides of the bar?